I realised this morning that now I cannot go out I have fallen back into an old routine. For many years my late husband, John, had a severely compromised immune system from all the cancer treatment he had had so we effectively self-isolated all the time. There were trips to the GP surgery and the hospital and a weekly shopping trip where he drove me to the supermarket and waited in the car whilst I whizzed round with my shopping list and then drove me home. Family couldn’t visit because they brought ‘strange’ germs and he always ended up in hospital again. Similarly any of our friends who were not local which was the vast majority. As I indicated in my last post communication was much more difficult and with such restricted lives our conversation was hardly sparkling so gradually most of those friends drifted away.
After he died I was able to have much more contact with my family but distance was still a factor with them and I knew it would take time for relationships to adjust, settle and grow. My grandchildren hardly knew me. I realised that I was very dependent on the kindness of a few very generous neighbours.
So I decided I needed to build a new social life relatively close to home. It sounds cold-blooded put like that but as I was retired and live in a fairly isolated place the world was hardly going to beat a path to my door asking me out to play! I accepted every invitation to go to events. I joined a Welsh class knowing that many of the other students would be people who had moved to the area fairly recently. I found a yoga class, signed up for craft courses, looked for volunteering opportunities…. A lot of these things proved a waste of time either because the activity didn’t appeal or because the people I met were not particularly friendly. But little by little I found places where I felt I belonged and people who welcomed me. If you have been reading this blog for a while you will have met many of them. And those of you who read and comment are forming another circle who I enjoy ‘meeting’ and who extend my horizons.
Looking ahead to my 70th Birthday this summer and how I might celebrate it I became aware of just how many people I would love to invite to share it with me. All plans are, of course, on hold but just knowing that all those connections exist makes me feel truly blessed.
Going Batty in Wales 
Lovely pictures!
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Thank you! You will recognise some of them!
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I found this post very interesting as, for completely different reasons, I may well have to forge a new social life before too long. Once this current nightmare is over, due to my husband’s job changing, we will probably have to relocate back to the U.k. after 15 years and to an area in which I don’t have any ties. Well, my two daughters live there now so that’s ‘family’ sorted but what about ‘friends’? Like you, I’ve decided I will join everything that vaguely appeals and go to workshops even if I know how to already do some of the things on offer – you can always improve, right? Your success has encouraged me that it can be done even when you’re past making friends at the school gate. Although, to be honest, that was a mixed bag of experiences too!!
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I had lots of ‘well, that was a waste of time’ and was tempted to give up but in the end perseverence paid off. Good luck with settling in back in the UK. The whole thing must be daunting. Good luck and please keep blogging and letting us know how you are getting on.
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Great photos. Your post put me in mind of my sister who will also be 70 in October. She moved on her own from the East Riding of Yorkshire to the small island of Raasay off Skye 3 years ago. She has made many new good friends and has the best social life she has ever had. So despite the misgivings of her family and friends the move has been a very positive one for her due to her new friendships and community involvement.
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Good for her! In a funnny way it is easier to move to a small community I think. In cities ebveryone is so busy and it is easy to be independent but in a small place we all have to depend on each other so your neighbours are more important.
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That’s so true. The island only has a population of about 170 and everyone is interdependent and supportive of each other….very like how you and your neighbours seem.
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Wish there were a “Love” button on this. Your plan doesn’t sound cold-blooded at all. Instead, it sounds very sensible. You needed to make connections in your community, and that’s exactly what you did. Not all the groups and activities worked, but that’s to be expected. Hope that darned virus subsides so that you can have a wonderful birthday celebration.
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I hope so too but missing a birthday party is a small price to pay for slowing this thing down and maybe by July it will all have subsided anyway.
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Fingers and toes crossed.
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Don’t keep them crossed whilst typing or the editing will get even harder! 🙂
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Tee-hee!
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Lovely to have a select few friends who you have good things in common with. Worth working for.
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I treasure my friends so much now.
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